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No treacherous powder bids conjecture quake; No stiff-starch'd stays make meddling fingers

ache

(Transferr'd to those ambiguous things that ape
Goats in their visage, women in their shape);*
No damsel faints when rather closely press'd,
But more caressing seems when most caress'd;
Superfluous hartshorn and reviving salts,
Both banish'd by the sovereign cordial, Waltz.'
Seductive Waltz!-though on thy native shore
Even Werter's self proclaim'd thee half a whore;
Werter-to decent vice though much inclined,
Yet warm, not wanton; dazzled, but not blind-
Though gentle Genlis, in her strife with Stael,
Would even proscribe thee from a Paris ball;
The fashion hails-from countesses to queens,
And maids and valets waltz behind the scenes;
Wide and more wide thy witching circle spreads,
And turns-if nothing else—at least our heads;
With thee even clumsy cits attempt to bounce,
And cockneys practise what they can't pro-

nounce.

Gods! how the glorious theme my strain exalts, And rhyme finds partner rhyme in praise of

'Waltz !'

Blest was the time Waltz chose for her debut: The court, the Regent, like herself, were new,† New face for friends, for foes some new rewards; New ornaments for black and royal guards; New laws to hang the rogues that roar'd for bread;

New coins (most new) to follow those that fled;
New victories-nor can we prize them less,
Though Jenky wonders at his own success;
New wars, because the old succeed so well,
That most survivors envy those who fell;
New mistresses-no, old-and yet 'tis true,
Though they be old, the thing is something new;

It cannot be complained now, as in the Lady Baussière's time, of the Sieur de la Croix,' that there be 'no whiskers; but how far these are indications of valour in the field, or else where, may still be questionable. Much may be, and hath been, avouched on both sides. In the olden time philosophers

had whiskers, and soldiers none-Scipio himself was shavenHannibal thought his one eye handsome enough without a Leard; but Adrian, the emperor, wore a beard (having warts on his chin, which neither the Empress Sabina nor even the courtiers could abide)-Turenne had whiskers, Marlborough none-Buonaparte is unwhiskered, the Regent whiskered; 'aral' greatness of mind and whiskers may or may not go together; but certainly the different occurrences, since the growth of the last mentioned, go further in behalf of whiskers Dan the anathema of Anselm did against long hair in the reign of Henry I.-Formerly red was a favourite colour. See Lodowick Barrey's comedy of Ram Alley, 1661; Act 1.

Scene I.

Taffeta. Now for a wager-What coloured beard comes next by the window?

Adriana. A black man's, I think.

Tafela. I think not so: I think a red, for that is most in fashion,' There is nothing new under the sun; but red, then a favourite, has now subsided into a favourite's colour.

An anachronism-Waltz and the battle of Austerlitz are before said to have opened the ball together; the bard means if he means anything), Waltz was not so much in vogue till the Regent attained the aciné of his popularity, Waltz, the comet, whiskers, and the new government, illuminated heaven and earth, in all their glory, much about the same time: of these the comet only has disappeared; the other three continue to astonish us still.-Printer's Devil.

* Jenkinson.

Each new, quite new tricks),*

-'except some ancient [new sticks! New white-sticks, gold-sticks, broom-sticks, all With vests or ribbons, deck'd alike in hue, New troopers strut, new turncoats blush in blue; So saith the muse! my, what say you? + Such was the time when Waltz might best maintain

Her new preferments in this novel reign;
Hoops are no more, and petticoats not much;
Such was the time, nor ever yet was such;
Morals and minuets, virtue and her stays,
And tell-tale powder-all have had their days.
The ball begins-the honours of the house
First duly done by daughter or by spouse,
Some potentate—or royal or serene—
With Kent's gay grace, or sapient Glo'ster's
mien,
Leads forth the ready dame, whose rising flush
Might once have been mistaken for a blush.
That spot where hearts were once supposed
From where the garb just leaves the bosom free,
Round all the confines of the yielded waist,
to be ; +
The stranger's hand may wander undisplaced;
The lady's in return may grasp as much
As princely paunches offer to her touch. [trip,
Pleased round the chalky floor how well they
One hand reposing on the royal hip;
The other to the shoulder no less royal
Ascending with affection truly loyal!
Thus front to front the partners move or stand,
The foot may rest, but none withdraw the hand;
And all in turn may follow in their rank,
The Earl of Asterisk-and Lady-Blank;
Sir-Such-a-one-with those of fashion's host,
For whose blest surnames-vide Morning Post
(Or if for that impartial print too late,
Search Doctors' Commons six months from my
date)-

Thus all and each, in movement swift or slow,
The genial contact gently undergo;
Till some might marvel, with the modest Turk,
If nothing follows all this palming work.'§

Who does

Oh that right should thus overcome might! not remember the delicate investigation in the Merry Wives of Windsor?'

Ford. Pray you, come near; if I suspect without cause, why then make sport at me; then let me be your jest; I deserve it. How now? whither bear you this? 'Mrs Ford. What have you to do whither they bear it ?you were best meddle with buck-washing."

The gentle, or ferocious, reader may fill up the blank as he pleases-there are several dissyllabic names at his service (being already in the Regent's): it would not be fair to back any peculiar initial against the alphabet, as every month will add to the list now entered for the sweepstakes;-a distinguished consonant is said to be the favourite, much against the wishes of the knowing ones.

We have changed all that,' says the Mock Doctor; 'tis all gone: Asmodeus knows where. After all, it is of no great importance how women's hearts are disposed of; they have Nature's privilege to distribute them as absurdly as possible. But there are also some men with hearts so thoroughly bad, as to remind us of those phenomena often mentioned in natural history, viz. a mass of solid stone-only to be opened by force and when divided, you find a toad in the centre, lively, and with the reputation of being venomous.

In Turkey a pertinent, here an impertinent and superfluous, question-literally put, as in the text, by a Persian to Morier, on seeing a waltz in Pera.-Vide Morier's Travels.

True, honest Mirza !-you may trust my rhyme-Hot from the hands promiscuously applied,
Something does follow at a fitter time;
The breast thus publicly resign'd to man
In private may resist him-if it can.

O ye who loved our grandmothers of yore,
Fitzpatrick, Sheridan, and many more!
And thou, my prince! whose sovereign taste

and will

It is to love the lovely beldames still! [sprite
Thou ghost of Queensberry! whose judging
Satan may spare to peep a single night,
Pronounce if ever in your days of bliss
Asmodeus struck so bright a stroke as this;
To teach the young ideas how to rise,
Flush in the cheek, and languish in the eyes;

Round the slight waist, or down the glowing side,
Where were the rapture then to clasp the form
From this lewd grasp and lawless contact warm?
At once love's most endearing thought resign,
To press the hand so press'd by none but thine;
Another's ardent look without regret ;
To gaze upon that eye which never met
Approach the lip which all, without restraint,
Come near enough-if not to touch-to taint;
If such thou lovest-love her then no more,
Or give-like her-caresses to a score;
Her mind with these is gone, and with it go
The little left behind it to bestow.

Voluptuous Waltz! and dare I thus blaspheme?

Rush to the heart, and lighten through the frame,Thy bard forgot thy praises were his theme. With half-told wish, and ill-dissembled flame:

Terpsichore, forgive!-at every ball

For prurient nature still will storm the breast-My wife now waltzes-and my daughters shall; Who, tempted thus, can answer for the rest?

But ye-who never felt a single thought,
For what our morals are to be, or ought;
Who wisely wish the charms you view to reap,
Say-would you make those beauties quite so
cheap?

My son (or stop -'tis needless to inquire-
These little accidents should ne'er transpire;
Some ages hence our genealogic tree

Will wear as green a bough for him as me)-
Grandsons for me-in heirs to all his friends.
Waltzing shall rear, to make our name amends,

THE VISION OF JUDGMENT,

BY QUEVEDO REDIVIVUS.

SUGGESTED BY THE COMPOSITION SO ENTITLED BY THE AUTHOR OF WAT TYLER, PUBLISHED IN THE LIBERAL.' 1822.

'A Daniel come to judgment! yea, a Daniel!

I thank thee, Jew, for teaching me that word.'

PREFACE.

IT hath been wisely said, that 'One fool makes many;' and it hath been poetically observed

'That fools rush in were angels fear to tread.'-POPE.

If Mr Southey had not rushed in where he had no business, and where he never was before, and never will be again, the following poem would not have been written. It is not impossible that it may be as good as his own, seeing that it cannot, by any species of stupidity, natural or acquired, be worse. The gross flattery, the dull impudence, the renegado intolerance, and impious cant, of the poem by the author of 'Wat Tyler,' are something so stupendous as to forin the sublime of himself-containing the quintessence of his own attributes.

So much for his poem-a word on his preface. In this preface it has pleased the magnanimous Laureate to draw the picture of a supposed 'Satanic School,' the which he doth recommend to the notice of the Legislature; thereby adding to his other laurels the ambition of those of an informer. If there exists anywhere, except in his imagination, such a school, is he not sufficiently armed against it by his own intense vanity? The truth is, that there are certain writers whom Mr S. imagines, like Scrub, to have 'talked of him; for they laughed consumedly.'

I think I know enough of most of the writers to whom he is supposed to allude, to assert, that they, in their individual capacities, have done more good, in the charities of life, to their fellow-creatures in any one year, than Mr Southey has done harm to himself by his absurdities in his whole life; and this is saying a great deal. But I have a few questions to ask. 1stly, Is Mr Southey the author of Wat Tyler?

2dly, Was he not refused a remedy at law by the highest judge of his beloved England, because it was a blasphemous and seditious publication?

34. Was he not entitled by William Smith, in full Parliament, a rancorous renegado'? 4thly, Is he not Poet Laureate, with his own lines on Martin the regicide staring him in the face?

And 5thly, Putting the four preceding items together, with what conscience dare he call the attention of the laws to the publications of others, be they what they may?

I say nothing of the cowardice of such a proceeding; its meanness speaks for itself; but I wish to touch upon the motive, which is neither more nor less than that Mr S. has been laughed at a little in some recent publications, as he was of yore in the Anti-Jacobin by his present patrons. Hence all this skimble-scamble stuff' about 'Satanic, and so forth. However, it is worthy of him—'qualis ab incepto.

If there is anything obnoxious to the political opinions of a portion of the public in the following poem, they may thank Mr Southey. He might have written hexameters, as he has written everything else, for aught that the writer cared-had they been upon another subject. But to attempt to canonize a monarch who, whatever were his household virtues, was neither a successful nor a patriot king,-inasmuch as several years of his reign passed in war with America and Ireland, to say nothing of the aggression upon France,-like all other exaggeration, necessarily begets opposition. In whatever manner he may be spoken of in this new Vision, his public career will not be more favourably transmitted by history. Of his private virtues (although a little expensive to the nation) there can be no doubt.

With regard to the supernatural personages treated of, I can only say that I know as much about them, and (as an honest man) have a better right to talk of them than Robert Southey. I have also treated them more tolerantly. The way in which that poor insane creature, the Laureate, deals about his judgments in the next world, is like his own judgments in this. If it was not completely ludicrous, it would be something worse. I don't think that there is much more to say at present.

QUEVEDO REDIVIVUS.

P.S.-It is possible that some readers may object, in these objectionable times, to the freedom with which saints, angels, and spiritual persons discourse in this Vision. But, for precedents upon such points, I must refer him to Fielding's Journey from this World to the next, and to the Visions of myself, the said Quevedo, in Spanish or translated. The reader is also requested to observe that no doctrinal tenets are insisted upon or discussed; that the person of the Deity is carefully withheld from sight, which is more than can be said for the Laureate, who hath thought proper to make Him talk, not like a school divine,' but like the unscholar-like Mr Southey. The whole action passes on the outside of heaven; and Chaucer's Wife of Bath, Pulci's Morgante Maggiore, Swift's Tale of a Tub, and the other works above referred to, are cases in point of the freedoin with which saints, &c., may be permitted to converse in works not intended to be serious.-Q.R.

Mr

Mr Southey being, as he says, a good Christian and vindictive, threatens, I understand, a reply to this our answer. It is to be hoped that his visionary faculties will in the mean time have acquired a little more judgment, properly so called: otherwise he will get himself into new dilemmas. These apostate Jacobins furnish rich rejoinders. Let him take a specimen. Southey laudeth grievously one Mr Landor,' who cultivates much private renown in the shape of Latin verses; and not long ago, the Poet Laureate dedicated to him, it appeareth, one of his fugitive lyrics upon the strength of a poem called Gebir. Who could suppose that in this same Gebir the aforesaid Savage Landor (for such is his grim cognomen) putteth into the infernal regions no less a person than the hero of his friend Mr Southey's heaven,-yea, even George the Third! See also how personal Savage becometh, when he hath a mind. The following is his portrait of our late gracious sovereign:

(Prince Gebir having descended into the infernal regions, the shades of his royal ancestors are, at his request, called up to his view; and he exclaims to his ghostly guide)—

Aroar, what wretch that nearest us? what wretch
Is that with eyebrows white and slanting brow?
Listen! him yonder who, bound down supine,

Shrinks yelling from that sword there, engine-hung.
He too amongst my ancestors! I hate
The despot, but the dastard I despise.
Was he our countryman?'

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