perhaps the one is as painful as the other'. He that dies in an earnest pursuit', is like one that is wounded in hot blood', who', for the time', scarcely feels the hurt'. Therefore a mind bent upon that which is good', thereby averts the terrours of death'. Death opens the gate to good fame', and extinguishes envy'.

Thus spoke the Christian philosopher'; but', on this theme', no philosopher ever poured forth such a sublime strain of triumphant rapture', as that uttered by the great apostle of the Gentiles': "I am now ready to be offered'; and the time of my departure is at hand'. I have fought a good fight'; I have finished my course'; I have kept the FAITH. Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness', which the Lord', the righteous Judge', will give me at that day': and not to me only', but', also', unto all them that love his appearing."

SECTION VII.

Ugly Women.-NEW MONTHLY MAGAZINE.

THE ancient inhabitants of Amathus, in the island of Cyprus, were the most celebrated statuaries in the world, which profession they almost exclusively supplied with gods and god. desses. Every one who had a mind to be in vogue, ordered his deity from these fashionable artists: even Jupiter himself was hardly considered orthodox and worship-worthy, unless emanating from the established Pantheon of the Cypriots; and, as to Juno, Venus, Minerva, and Diana, it was admitted that they had a peculiar knack in their manufacture; and, it needs hardly be added, they drove a thriving trade in these popular goddesses.

But this monopoly proved more favourable to the fortunes than to the happiness of the parties. By constantly straining above humanity, and aspiring to the representation of celestial beauty; -by fostering the enthusiasm of their imaginations in the pursuit of the beau ideal,* they acquired a distaste, or, at least, an indifference, for mortal attractions, and turned up their noses at their fair country-women, for not being Junoes or Minervas. Not one of them equalled the model which had been conjured In-dif'für'ênse-not, unse.

a

*Imaginary excellence.

up in their imaginations, and not one of them, consequently, would they deign to notice. At the publick games, the women were all huddled together, whispering and looking glum, while the men congregated as far from them as possible, discussing the beau ideal. Had they been prosing upon politicks, you might have presumed it an English or an American party. Dancing was extinct, unless the ladies chose to lead out one another; the priests waxed lank and wo-begone for want of the marriage offerings. Hymen's altar was covered with as many cobwebs as a poor's box: successive moons rose and set without a single honey-moon, and the whole island threatened to become an anti-nuptial colony of old bachelors and old maids.

In this emergency, Pygmalion, the most eminent statuary of the place, falling in love with one of his own works, a figure of Diana, which happened to possess the beau ideal in perfection, implored Venus to animate the marble; and she, as is well known to every person conversant with authentick history, immediately granted his request. So far as this couple were concerned, one would have imagined that the evil was remedied; but, alas! the remedy was worse than the disease. The model of excellence was now among them, alive and breathing; the men were perfectly mad, beleaguering the house from morn to night to get a peep at her; all other women were treated with positive insult; and, of course, the whole female population was possessed by the furies. Marmorea (such was the name of the animated statue) was no Diana in the flesh, whatever she might have been in the marble; for, if the scandalous chronicles of those days may be believed, she had more than one favoured lover. Certain it is, that she was the cause of constant feuds and battles, in which many lives were lost, and Pygmalion himself was at last found murdered in the neighbourhood of his own house. The whole island was now on the point of civil war, on account of the philanthropical Helen, when one of her disappointed wooers, in a fit of jealousy, stabbed her to the heart, and immediately after threw himself from a high rock into the sea. Such is the tragedy which would probably be enacting, at the present moment, in every country of the world, but for the fortunate circumstance, that we have no longer any fixed standard of beauty, real or imaginary, and, by a necessary and happy consequence, no determinate rule of ugliness. In fact, there are no such animals as ugly women, though we still continue to talk of them as we do of harpies, gorgons, and chimeras. There is no deformity that does not find admirers, and no

aPôz-zes'. Prêz'ênt-not, unt. Mo'mènt-not, mòʼmunt.

loveliness that is not deemed defective. Anamaboo, the African prince, received so many attentions from a celebrated belle of London, that, in a moment of tenderness, he could not refrain from laying his hand on his heart, and exclaiming, “Ah! madam, if heaven had only made you a negress, you would have been irresistible." And the same beauty, when travelling among the Swiss Cretins, heard several of the men ejaculating, 'How handsome she is! what a pity that she wants a Goitre."* Plain women were formerly so common, that they were termed ordinary to signify the frequency of their occurrence: in these happier days the phrase extraordinary would be more applicable. However parsimonious, or even cruel, nature may have been in other respects, they all cling to admiration by some solitary tenure that redeems them from the unqualified imputation of unattractiveness. One has an eye that, like charity, covers a multitude of sins; another is a female Sampson, whose strength consists in her hair; a third holds your affections by her teeth; a fourth is a Cinderella, who wins hearts by her pretty little foot; a fifth makes an irresistible appeal from her face to her figure," and so on to the end of the catalogue. An expressive countenance may always be claimed in the absence of any definite charm; and, if even this be questionable, the party generally contrives to get a reputation for great cleverness; and, if that be too inhumanly disputed, envy itself must allow that she is "excessively amiable."

Still, it must be acknowledged, that however men may differ as to details, they agree as to results, and crowd about an acknowledged beauty, influenced by some secret attraction of which they are themselves unconscious, and of which the source has never been duly explained. It would seem impossible that it should originate in any sexual sympathies, since we feel the impulsion without carrying ourselves, even in idea, beyond the pleasure of gazing, and are even sensibly affected by the sight of beautiful children: yet it cannot be an abstract admiration, for it is incontestable that neither men nor women are so vehemently impressed by the contemplation of beauty in their own, as in the opposite, sex.

This injustice towards our own half of humanity, might be assigned to a latent envy, but that the same remark applies to the pleasure we derive from statues, of the proportions of which we could hardly be jealous. Ugly statues may be left to their fate without any compunctious visitings of nature; but our Eks-tror'de 'ná-re. Fig'ire-not, fig'ür. Vě'he 'mênt-lẻ. dTo'ůrdz. e Nå'tshåre.

* Goitre-gwatr, a large swelling upon the throat, like a wen.

conduct towards women, whom we conceive to be in a similar predicament," is by no means entitled to the same indulgence. We shuffle away from them at parties, and sneak to the other end of the dinner-table, as if their features were catching; and as to their falling in love, and possessing the common feelings of their sex, we laugh at the very idea. And yet these Parias of the drawing-room, generally atone, by interiour talent, for what they want in exteriour charms; as if the Medusa's head were still destined to be carried by Minerva.

Nature seldom lavishes her gifts upon one subject: the peacock has no voice; the beautiful Camellia Japonica has no odour; and belles, generally speaking, have no great share of intellect. Some visionaries amuse themselves by imagining that the complacency occasioned by the possession of physical charms, conduces to moral perfection.

SECTION VIII.

Ugly Women.-Continued.

WHAT a blessing for these unhandsome damsels, whom we treat still more unhandsomely by our fastidious neglect, that some of us are less squeamish in our tastes and more impartial in our attentions. Solomon proves the antiquity of the adage"De gustibus nil disputandum," ("The taste is not to be disputed,") for he compares the hair of his beloved, to a flock of goats appearing from Mount Gilead; and in a strain of enamoured flattery, exclaims: " Thy eyes are like the fish-pools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bath-rabbim; thy nose like the tower of Lebanon, looking towards Damascus."

Now I deem it as becoming to see a woman standing behind a good, roomy nose, as to contemplate a fair temple with a majestick portico; but it may be questioned whether a nose like the tower of Lebanon, is not somewhat too elephantine, and bordering on the proboscis. The nez retroussé* (na re-troo'-sa) is smart and piquant; the button-nose, like all other diminutives, is endearing; and even the snub absolutely has its admirers. Cupid can get over it, though it have no bridge; and he jumps through a wall-eye like a harlequin. As to the latter feature, my taste may be singular, perhaps bad, but I confess that I have a penchant for that captivating cast, sometimes inaPré-dik'á'ment-not, munt.

• Un nez retrousse'—ån nå rê-tròò'să, a nose that turns up. + Liking

vidiously termed a squint. Its advantages are neither few nor unimportant. Like a bowl, its very bias makes it sure of hitting the jack, while it seems to be running out of the course; and it has, moreover, the invaluable property of doing execution without exciting suspicion, like the Irish guns with crooked barrels, made for shooting round a corner.

Common observers admire the sun in his common state, but philosophers find it a thousand times more interesting when suffering a partial eclipse; while the lovers of the picturesque, are more smitten with its rising and setting, than with its meridian splendour. Such men must be enchanted with a strabismus or squint, where they may behold the ball of sight, gracefully emerging from the nasal east, or setting in its occidental depths, presenting every variety of obscuration. With regard to teeth, also, a very erroneous taste prevails. Nothing can be more stiff and barrack-like, than that uniformity of shape and hue which is so highly vaunted," for the merest tyro in landscape will tell us, that castellated and jagged outlines, with a pleasing variety of teints, are infinitely more pictorial and pleasing.

Patches of bile in the face are by no means to be deprecated. They impart to it a rich mellow tone of autumnal colouring which we should in vain seek in less gifted complexions; and I am most happy to vindicate the claims of a moderate beard upon the upper lip, which is as necessary to the perfect beauty of the mouth, as are the thorns and moss to a rose, or the leaves to a cherry. If there are any old maids still extant, while mysogonists are so rare, the fault must be attributable to themselves, and they must incur all the responsibility of their single blessedness.

In the connubial lottery, ugly women possess an advantage to which sufficient importance has not been attached. It is a common observation, that husband and wife frequently resemble each other; and many ingenious theorists, attempting to solve the problem by attributing it to sympathy, contemplation of one another's features, congeniality of habits, modes of life, and so forth, have fallen into the very common errour of substituting the cause for the effect. This mutual likeness is the occasion, not the result, of marriage. Every man, like Narcissus, becomes enamoured of the reflection of himself, only choosing a substance instead of a shadow. His love for any particular woman, is self-love at second-hand, vanity reflected, compound egotism. When he sees himself in the mirror of a female face,

"In'têr'est-ing. Vàwnt'èd. Běĕrd. 'the'ō'rists.