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Where Christian and Jew,

And the devil knows who ! Shall complete my edition of Babel.

As no priest 's in the place,

Let Nic's Chaplain say grace, To quiet some scrupulous laymen;

And little Jack Gorgon,*

My orator, organ!
Shall piously chuckle forth “ Amen."

"Tis pleasant enough,

Tho' the mutton run tough, To see how the rogues tooth and nail it !

Like flies in a shamble,

They join in the scramble, With appetite good—what should ail it?

Lest brandy, or rum,

Should intoxicate some,
I banish them both, with Geneva ;

Instead of blue-ruin,

We've Adam's own brewingA much better drink, by your


* The sometime profane Sunday Jack-Pudding of the Sans Souci :-The Fox that had lost its Tail !

As soon as my spinners

Have finish'd their dinners, (Soup-maigre, if beef they'd the last time,)

The girls, for ten minutes,

Shall play on their spinnets ;
The boys dance a hornpipe for pastime.


The old men and women

I'll treat with the skimming
Of some philosophical question ;

Abernethy, queer chap!

Says an afternooni nap
Is an excellent thing for digestion !

I'll tell the good folk,

That religion's a joke,
And offer my own, as a sample ;-

That man is a brute,

Is beyond a dispute ;
My friend, little Jack ! for example.

That vice is a name,

And that virtue's the same,
Deserving nor censure, nor credit-
See, my “ Essay,

Essay,"* in print,

* Essay on human character-proving (?) that the character is made for the man-- Ergo-Man is not a responsible being.

Yet I'll give 'em the hint,
As few but myself, may have read it.

Economy's this,

No advantage to miss-
Philanthropy too, is no stickler;

Its favourite dish is

The loaves and the fishes ;
Taking care of itself* in partic'lar !

And liberty also,

At least what I call so !
Binds only mankind in my slavery-

* The following Ode has been attributed to a distinguished disciple of the “ New View.” It is entitled


PHILANTHROPIST ! for prudence' sake,

As thro’ life's thorny vale you run;
Whate'er you do, be sure to take

Especial care of Number One.


's easy, words are cheap, A thing is sooner said, than done ; Abroad, at home; awake, asleep;

Still keep your eye on Number One!

The Indian worships wood and stone,

The fiery fanatic, the sun;
The Liberal's god, is, Self alone,

And what is Self-but Number One ?

And honesty true,

Is right worshipful too, When a man can get nothing by knavery!

Equality's crown

ls to level all down, Who in fame or in fortune o'ercrow us ;

And then, vice versa,

To grind without mercy, The poor needy devils below us !

Liberality next,

Is the Quaker's old text-
My son, if of wisdom thou'st any,

Thou'lt always be found,

To make sure of a pound, Before thou dost part with a penny !

The bosom that grieves,

And the hand that relieres, At pity's soft impulse, is erring :

I laugh at the flat,

Who would throw out a sprat, Unless he can pull up a herring !

Fine feeling's a hum,

And a hoax_“ Homo sum,"
Mere school-boy romance, rhodomontade ;

We stoics, “ jam satis,”

Think advice, given gratis,
Enough for poor folks, when they want aid.


The Owenite rule,

Is be cautious, and cool,
Indiff'rent to all things, and all men ;

Your mind, in a freak,

Never venture to speak ;
Truth spoke out of time, may enthral men.

In all that you do,

Let a sinister view
Be your counsel, your guide, and director;

In all that you say,

Go the round-about way,
So ends the first part of


lecture !

I hold it imprudent,
To drive the


student Up Learning's ascent by coercion ;

Or e'en to encourage,

Beyond his pease-porridge,
The task he should learn—for diversion!

My blockheads I teach,

Without birching their breech,
By a method that well may surprise one ;


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