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CHOOSING A WIFE; OR, THE BACHELOR'S NOTE-BOOK.
Seventeen.-First love-virgin much—not in the humour for itheart-blushes and bashfulness-too disappointed about Caroline-Ladies young-in love for the romance of always before hand in extending it-not know her own mind-no ho. their hands in quadrilling-feel ranour in captivating fifty girls at ther aukward with Caroline-hope sixteen-five-and-twenty, character they leave soon-Mrs. Smith says formed-prudent, discreet-too old, to-morrow. chances going by-glad to catch at Aug. 22.—This day Mr. Mrs. and any-twenty-two, i. e. called nine Miss Morrison joined our tableteen-blue or black eyes indifferent, Fanny Morrison quite a Hebe dark blue preferred-quite pale-no mouth like a rose-bud-face full of deception, rouge hard to detect some- dimples — sufficing plumpness-ratimes-blush better seen-beauty of ther trussed-all smiles and good blush chiefly in the sentiment of it humour-only laughed when the -fine teeth and hair rarely com- dog tore her gown-motherill health bined-good ancle—no display of it - very fractious - Fanny sweetly -not from boarding school-not assiduous - good daughter-good passionately fond of dancing-sing. wife-only child-father a coal mering great recommendation-warm chant - rather objectionable. hearted and affectionate, not enthu- lack of money. siastic-fond of the country—thou Aug. 29.-Fanny improves daily sand or two highly desirable. -never liked any one so well since
Aug.7.-Tunbridge Wells, Smith's Eleanor-to call in London ? NoHotel-only two pretty women at City road—no attempts at hooking table—one called Caroline, quite to in—the likeliest I've seen. my taste- light as a fairy, true sym London, Sept. 12.-Called at Mormetry, noble creature sat next to rison's-no one at home-very unme-Miss Dashwood finest bust I Jucky- house rather dirty- often ever saw — beautiful hair- braids the case where there's sicknessand curls different shades-might be can't call again well without a prenatural, helped twice to fish, besides tence-purchase four orders for the poultry and pastry. Mem! mark play, 11. 8s. that.
Sept. 15.-Coach to Covent-garden Aug. 10.—Miss Dashwood engag. Theatre four shillings and sixpence ed to a silversmith in London-sorry-sixpence too much-very silly of for it—too good for a tradesman's Fanny to say she would rather pay wife; thick ancles, though—eats im- double than dispute it—no mindmoderately.
no necessity for it-gaped at Julius Aug. 12.–Tickets to the assembly Cæsar, laughed at Blue Beard—not -Caroline and Maria and her mo read much-progidy-versitality ther-Cary best dancer in the room no time to spare-angelic disposition
- looked lovely, afraid she had co and temper-made me say more than loured a little-very pettish about I intended-don't think I committed the rain-don't like the sly looks myself—serious thoughts of propos. she casts at Maria, as if to say, I've ing — wish she had not miscalled caught him—think she's fond of me those words-call in City-road to-some doubts about temper. morrow-going to office.
Aug. 15.—Joked Cary about mar Sept. 16.-Breakfast cups differriage-just as I wished, renew it ent patterns-Fanny rather insipid again-don't think she has any for- -hair in papers--neck-frill dirtytune.
half engaged to dine on Thursday Aug. 17.—Lucky escape, Caroline - Fanny to write-wonder how-sir a termagant-slapped the chamber- -dear sir-dear Mr. Price-Miss maid-talk of the whole house- Morrison's compliments - Tom to won't go to the rooms to-night, glad sup to-night-consult him. of it-go myself.
Sept. 18.-That infernal letterAug. 18.-Nicish girl the first I Tom to see it too-Mr. Price, Esq.danced with, Miss Corles-exquisite confounded ignorance could not complexion-red hair-talked too marry a Venus witli a vulgar soul..
all off-say I'm going to Wales, and witty---don't like visiting where stay uncertain.---Poor Fanny! think number of daughters, downright she cried at parting---may do after snapdragons with mothers and aunts all--Mavor's spelling book --- quite-great many, pretty portionless
misses on hand at present--wonder Sept. 22.--Saved an old woman any man should prefer a widow from being run over; daughter where money is not in the case---fefainted in my arms bewitching male youth so sweet and engaging-black eyes---Jewess--Rachel-augh wonder if I could meet with a girl ---like to meet with my wife by acci who had never heard of Moore or dent---stage coach--play.
Byron. General observations and senti Lime, Dorset,Oct. 2.--Like to know ments---begin to understand the fe who that lovely creature was that male character---woman devoid of opened her pew for me on Sunday--vanity a non-entity--expect flattery Miss Leeson. like food---few receive it gracefully Oct. 19.---Lucky business brought ---manners seldom entirely natural--- me down to Lime---very true, “mardifferent in the company of their riages made in heaven”---Miss Leeown sex and ours---generally affect son perfect divinity---reminds me coyness---not always assumed---never of Johnson's Fidelia, in attention could make Eleanor confess she lov. to her grandfather--- manners, pered me---Middleton says his wife ne son, mind, fortune, disposition, temver kissed him till she was his wife per, connexions--all I could desire ---gentle quiet demeanour preferable ---cannot suppose what fault she ---vivacity apt to degenerate into le- has — must have some surprised vity.--better tempers on the whole she is disengaged---many deserving than we are --distinguished talents girls lost in seclusion. of any kind no advantage to a wo London, May 12.---Married at St. man unless she makes money by George's, Southwark, to Martha Leethem---rather a wife who wrote Greek son--- happiest day of my life--bridethan one who studied stock-jobbing cake flying-visitors calling-one --when politicians always opposition hundred at house-warming-told Tom ---don't think they talk, on the whole, all bachelors should be taxed doumore than men, only longer at a ble, who said they ought among other time--great art, knowing when to be luxuries --- impertinent fellow---celisilent---not aware of the extent of bacy to matrimony like barley water their influence---don't use it skilfully to rich burgundy---caudle and crying every one desirous of being mar christening and compliments ried---never an old maid at five-a ad- clean fire-side--gout and good dinforty from choice---never met with a ners.--0! rare aunt Dorothy. woman who was at once very pretty
LINES TO LAURA.
Think not from me thy cause of grief to hide,
For well I know the secret of thy breast:
Thy sighs, thy looks betray the tyrant guest.
Though well conceal’d by womans modest art;
And my instructor was--my own fond heart.
Eur. Mag. Vol. 82.
SKETCHES OF SOCIETY AND MANNERS IN LONDON
The Marquis de Vermont in London, to Sir Charles Darnley, Bart., at Paris.
You English are such ramblers region, inhabited by human beings, that, perhaps, of all places home is will no similar imperfections be disthe last where your friends have any covered ? In general, I believe, it is chance of finding you. Deeply, true, that in your favoured island therefore, as I share the disappoint- more paius are taken to preserve ment, my dear Darnley, which you a corresponding propriety in all have had the kindness to express at you do or undertake, than else. our separation, I confess I am more where ; but even in England, do grieved than surprised at your ab- you think there are no inconsistensence. You are very philosophical cies? in discovering, that we may both I have, as yet, only spent one derive some advantage from the sin week in this proud Albion, yet I gular coincidence, which sent you have not done so, without perceivby one road to Paris, while I took ing that, in spite of its freedom, the other to London. This kind of moral rectitude, and diffused knowmoralizing, and drawing good from ledge, this country has still its conevil, is quite characteristic of your tradictions. national disposition. I cannot be To begin with the Inns, which so reasonable, nor shall I ever cease are generally, and perhaps justly, to regret the loss of your valuable considered as superior to those on assistance, in viewing this interest the Continent, and which some traing country. But as Fate has de vellers have compared to the Palaces
me of so able a conductor, of Princes, I confess that, in many must grope my way in the dark as respects, they deserve the praises well as I can; and, after having which have been lavished on them. done so, I shall avail myself of your The civility of the landlords, and permission, and submit my remarks the almost troublesome attention of to the examination and correction the waiters,—the well-carpeted and of your superior judgment. Nor well-aired rooms, into which the shall I hesitate when I perceive, in fatigued stranger is conducted on your observations on France, any his arrival,—the blazing fire,—the error which my local knowledge close-drawn curtains, the handcan set right, to point out to you some and easy sopha, - the sidethe supposed mistake.
board covered with glass and plate, In reading your letter, I could and the general cleanliness of all not help smiling at some of your around, are circumstances well calcritiques. No one is more liberal culated to justify such encomiums. than yourself; yet so difficult is it Now, notwithstanding these varied to divest oneself of early prejudices, conveniences, your most celebrated that even you seem to consider all Inns are deficient in many things those incongruities which drew
essential to the comfort of a person notice on the road to Paris, as pe accustomed to the manners and haculiar to the country which you are bits of the Continent. visiting; forgetting what a modern When after a boisterous though writer observes, with equal truth rapid voyage I landed at Dover, and neatness, “ that inconsistency (after having been much indisposed is the grand characteristic of man. on the passage) I took up my quarI do not pretend to assert, that no ters in one of the best hotels of that absurdities can be found in our town, I was no less surprised than usages and manners ; but in what delighted at the manner in which
* Translated from the original French.
I was welcomed to this house of that the dinner was ready, I begged public entertainment. The master that the soup might be brought in, of the establishment met me as II found, to my great disappointleft the packet; and, hearing that ment, that that usual, and almost I intended to be his lodger, insisted from habit necessary article in a on being my guide, and walked Frenchman's meal, had been omitted. before me to his dwelling; promis “Then," said I, “ let me have what ing, at the same time, that he would you have substituted.” A slice of himself see my luggage conveyed to boiled cod, with a very insipid sauce the Custom-house, and would super- made of oysters (which I happen intend the examination of its con- particularly to dislike) was followed tents,
by a plate of mutton chops, which At the door of the inn I was re were so hard and so raw, that I ceived by his wife, a smiling and could with difficulty persuade mywell-dressed young woman, who self to taste them ; and the potatoes, conducted me into small but com- which filled another dish, were fortable apartment; and in less than scarcely more inviting. I requested, five minutes I found myself quite at therefore, to have some other vegethome, while half a dozen waiters ables, when some greens were placed busied themselves in anticipating on the table---but they, too, were my wishes. One stirred the fire, underboiled. One of the waiters, a second drew down the curtains, perceiving that I did not seem to a third placed on the polished table relish the dinner which he had set a pair of wax candles, a fourth before me, said, very civilly, “ Sir, lighted them, a fifth brought a news would you choose something else? paper, and a sixth, on my enquiring ---Perhaps you would prefer a beefabout dinner, ran for a bill of fare. steak, a veal cutlet, or a slice of cold
"Well,” thought I, “ this Eng- ham?" land seems, indeed, a most delight “ Oh, no :-cannot I have a parful place, and a simple traveller is tridge-some pigeons —ą, poulet au better treated here than an Ambas- ris-africandeanmora vol-au-vent?" sador or reigning Prince in other (mentioning some of the articles countries. Nor did I forget to con- which in France are met with’in the trast all these civilities with the commonest inns.) His answer concold and haughty manner in which vinced me that nothing of the kind you and I were so often received at was here to be had without several similar houses in America. When hours previous notice. In despair I the bill of fare, which was as long called for pastry; when an ill-made as la carte at a French restaurateur's, apple-tart and some tasteless jelly was produced, some of my miseries were brought in;-and when I asked began.---It contained a list of every for a desert, a few oranges, a dry kind of butcher's meat, every kind biscuit, and a dish of sour apples, of poultry, every kind of fish, and were all which I could obtain. In every kind of vegetables; but all respect to wine I was equally unforthese things were to dress, and no tunate : I first tried the port, but it thing was ready, though the hour at appeared so very strong to my pawhich I arrived was precisely that late, that I seemed to be swallowing at which I know the generality of liquid flames of fire and ether: I Englishmen are in the habit of din. changed it for claret; the beverage ing. The necessity of waiting, while thus denominated proved so adultemy meal was preparing, did not rated, that I could scarcely recogvery well accord with the ravenous nise in its taste the most distant reappetite of a man who had not eaten semblance to my favourite Bordeaux. since sun-rise, and who, in the inter. But to conclude the tale of mes pet. val, had crossed the Channel : but its malheurs, my next demand was compelled to do so I requested, for coffee :--after I had waited half without making any selection, that an hour, a silver salver was placed my landlady would have the good. before me, containing an elegant ness to order for me whatever could vase of the same metal; and by its be most expeditiously cooked. No side a china dish, with a well-buttertime was lost in executing iny or ed muffin, and a cut-glass jug full ders; but when, on being informed of the richest cream. All these pre
parations promised weil; but when you discovered some inconsistencies, I began to pour out the coffee from before I had passed twenty-four lours the ornamental pot which held it, I in this island, I had sufficient cause found it so ill-made, and so diluted to make a similar complaint. My with water, that it was not without bill, too, for these wretched accommodisgust that I swallowed a cup-full. dations amounted to something more
Little refreshed by my dinner, and than two guineas; for which sum at exhausted with the fatigues of the Paris, after eating the most luxuriday, I expressed, at an early hour, ous dinner at Beauvilliers' or Romy intention of retiring to rest: as bèrts', you may sleep at any of the soon as I told the waiter that such
most expensive hotels, in such a bed was my wish, a pretty and well as a Roman emperor would not have dressed young woman, who said she disdained. Nor were the circumwas the chamber-maid, made her ap- stances which I have mentioned pepearance; and carrying a wax ta culiar to Dover--wherever I stopped per in a silver candlestick, led me on the road I found similar advanThrough the intricate mazes of an tages, and similar disadvantages. At old staircase, which seemed to run every inn I enjoyed on my arrival from one end of the house to the the comforts of a good fire, and a other, into a low-roofed room, where well aired room; and in all of them a small but neat bedstead, with fur the charm of extreme cleanliness, niture of snowy-white linen, acccom and great civility :--but when wishpanied with every other apparent ing to satisfy my appetite I called comfort, seemed to promise that if I for the bill of fare, I uniformly rehad not dined very luxuriously, I ceived a long list of mutton, veal, should be indemnified by the enjoy beef, lamb, poultry, and fish to dress; ment of a good night's repose: think and I soon learnt that, unless I was then of my disappointment, when disposed to wait three or four hours on lying down that, instead of the for the preparation of a dinner, and pile of mattresses to which we are to treble the already heavy charges accustomed in France, there was of my travelling expenses, that the nothing here but a down feather-bed, only real choice was between a tough the heat of which was intolerable; mutton-chop and a hard beef-steak, while the sheets had been so highly between an ill-cooked veal cutlet and mangled, that I could not find a a raw leg of roast lamb, and between resting place. After tossing about stale pastry and insipid jelly. for several hours in a state of fever Having thus spoken frankly of ish irritation, I had at last sunk into the inconveniences which I have exan uneasy sleep, when I was sud perienced, it gives me great pleasure denly roused by the sound of a horn, to reverse the picture,
and to speak which announced, as I was informed to you of the satisfaction which my the next day, the arrival of the Lon journey has already afforded me. don mail-coach. Again I attempted In going from Dover to London, to tranquillize myself; and, after an I was delighted with the rapidity of interval of some time, fell again into the posting, the beauty of the horses, an imperfect slumber, when I was a and the civility of the drivers--the second time disturbed by a still loud excellence of the roads---the rich vaer noise than that which had at first riety of the landscapes-the ornaawakened me: it was occasioned by mented grounds and elegant villas some late travellers, who finding the of the gentry -- the white cottages gate of the inn closed, which was and neat gardens of the peasantry-directly under my windows, were the picturesque villages---the appearknocking at it, and demanding post- ance of comfort so generally dishorses.
played in the dresses and dwellings Such was my first night at an Eng of all orders of the people—and lish inn; and such my experience of with the first sight of your renownthe comforts, the much vaunted com ed Thames, flowing majestically beforts of a country which, in this res. tween the counties of Kent and Espect, is said to be superior to all the sex; and so crowded with vessels, world.
that I seemed to behold a forest of You will acknowledge that, if be, nasts. I was also much surprised fore you had been a week in France at the multitude of travellers, whom